Opening the book…
Not everything happens for a reason, but almost everything can be learned from. The question 'what is this teaching me' turns a setback from a verdict into information. I've found it changes my whole posture toward a bad stretch: less bracing against it, more paying attention. The lesson doesn't excuse the pain, but it does redeem a little of it.
After something goes wrong, once the sting has faded, ask what you'd do differently and what it showed you about yourself. Write down one thing to keep. Look for the lesson without forcing a tidy moral. I try to ask it as an honest question, not as a way to rush past feeling the loss.
Some things teach you nothing except that they hurt, and hunting for a lesson can become a way to blame yourself for bad luck. Not every wound is a curriculum. Sometimes the only honest answer is that it was simply hard.